Boy Meets Void Wrapped
A year of quitting things, treading water, and water breaking
Dear Void,
As 2026 quickly approaches, I wanted to look back at 2025 to contemplate what has happened in my life, both good and bad. I was initially going to do a post as if I was some sort of self reflection guru, but the truth is I am quite terrible at doing this exercise frequently enough.
Why should I, some jabroni on Substack, evangelize to you and speak from a place of authority on an activity and subject that I suck at? Worse, why should you, some jabroni on Substack, listen to the advice of some jabroni on Substack? I mean, guys, you should have seen the first draft of this. It was so self-righteous and not becoming of the 1994 Honda Del Sol of Newsletters (sick callback, Stephen).
Instead of acting like everyone else in the world and attempting to con you into thinking I have some kind of “method,” I thought we could try this together, and maybe if it works you can vouch for me at the next guru convention. After all, my lifelong dream is to meet Tony Robbins. He was simply too good in Shallow Hal!
The first thing I was going to tell you to do, without ever actually taking part in this exercise myself, was to try to focus on moments of personal growth from this past year. So I guess I should start there! For me, it has been one of, if not the, most eventful years of my life. I started in January knowing that, if all went well, at some point in the year I was going to have a baby. This was the catalyst for most of my decisions in 2025.
I had freshly quit alcohol and nicotine in August of 2024, and was more determined than ever to keep up with that abstinence. I’ve never really had a “drinking problem” in the classical sense of it negatively affecting my job or relationships, but, shit, did I drink a lot. And I mean a lot in terms of days spent drinking, volume drunk, and money spent. I don’t know exactly when it happened (I would love to blame Covid lockdowns but it was far before then), but I was drinking nearly every day. And not cheap swill either, what my bank account wouldn’t have given for me to have a penchant for Natty Ice. Instead, I had to drink $50-$100 bottles of scotch and bourbon, and $12 four packs of craft beer. The bottles lasted on average 3-4 days and the beers were generally gone in a night. It’s truly astonishing how much money I pissed away on alcohol, almost as astonishing as how much alcohol I pissed away (high brow joke).
I thought about this earlier today, 2025 might end up being the first full year that I haven’t had any alcohol since 2007. As for nicotine, this is possibly the first year since 2009 in which I haven’t smoked or vaped. That sentence leaves wiggle room for other forms of nicotine absorption, but I don’t, and have never done, any of those just to be clear. If anyone is considering quitting or scaling back on drinking or smoking, I highly recommend it. If for no other reason than it has greatly reduced my stress and greatly improved my sleep. Uh-oh, we’ve teetered into guru territory again.
I also started the year continuing to be employed by a company that I was quickly growing to strongly detest and resent.
More of a peek behind the curtain. I was about to write a long explanation about all of the ways that place sucked to work at, but then I realized I don’t care and neither will/should you.
Suffice it to say, I am much less stressed and enjoying my life much more now as a mostly stay-at-home dad. I say mostly, because I luckily did have a job lined up where I can work from home.
I also spent time picking up some new hobbies and attempting to make life changes to mixed success. This year I attempted:
Building a home server - success
Playing guitar more - failure
Eating healthier - somewhat success
Exercising - success until my body was a failure (damn knees). Then a success after a change of exercise activities. Followed by more failure when winter hit.
Starting a Substack - you tell me
That brings us to my home life. As alluded to earlier, most things for the year, good and bad, were filtered through the lens of me becoming a father. That finally happened on August 18th. Our beautiful baby girl was born and my life got no worse, which was always my fear. I think a lot of the time when people have children they lose their patience. They lose their patience with their child, and they lose their patience with their spouse/partner/baby daddy/mama, whatever. Fortunately, my patience has only grown.
Don’t clap too hard for me, I was at about a 1 in patience before - I’m now at a 5 at best (this is on a scale of 1-10, mind you). My connection to my wife has also only grown deeper. It turns out when you are working towards a common goal with another person you can form a deeper bond. We have to figure out a way as a society to get people together and give them a common goal. Maybe even put them in uniforms and have them go against other people who have the same, but opposite goal, and different color uniforms. Oh, wait, I just described either sports or war. I guess that’s fitting, because we are currently in the trenches and only ahead by a field goal.
What have I gotten better at this year?
Again, I’m much more patient, a baby and a home server have seen to that.
I am getting better at letting things go, remember that paragraph where I didn’t go into the weeds about the job I despised? That skill still requires quite a bit of fine tuning.
I am becoming more disciplined as well, particularly with abstaining from things that were killing me (except salt, that will be what kills me).
What do I still need to get better at?
Well, all of the things I have gotten better at still need a lot of work.
I need to stop to think before I speak a lot more. I enjoy that I can be a bit of a loose cannon sometimes, but it rarely serves me well. I’m hoping writing will help me with moderation.
I need to get up and get moving more and stop putting things off as long as I do.
I need to be more open to new experiences and be less rigid.
I need to read more books.
I am grateful to everyone who chose to spend their time reading this. Time is so precious, I just hope you got something out of this. Perhaps you see some of yourself in my struggles and triumphs, or perhaps you think I suck and you are so much better than me and your self-esteem has risen as a result. Either way works for me. I encourage each of you to spend a little time thinking about your year, think of it as your life’s Spotify wrapped. We only have so many years left before it’s all over, try to savor what you have.
Holy shit, what a guru thing to say! Tony Robbins is totally gonna subscribe to Boy Meets Void now, I just know it!
**BONUS CONTENT**
Albums I have been listening to a lot this year:
If You Asked For a Picture - Blondshell
The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me - Brand New (As is true every year)
The Cleanest of Houses Are Empty - Carly Cosgrove
Supermodel - Foster The People
Four of Arrows - Great Grandpa
Clarity - Jimmy Eat World
Circles - Mac Miller
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel
Threads - Now, Now
LUX - Rosalia
Revival - Selena Gomez
Disintegration - The Cure
Tigers Jaw - Tigers Jaw
Modern Vampires in the City - Vampire Weekend
Movies I have watched this year for the first time and enjoyed:
Weapons (2025)
Ben Hur (1959)
Do the Right Thing (1989)
Good Fortune (2025)
Friendship (2024)
Roofman (2025)
Wake Up Dead Man (2025)
Clerks III (2022)
Oh, Hi (2025)
Baltimorons (2025)
Sinners (2025)
Worst movie I watched this year:
Materialists
What movies and music have you been enjoying this year?
 | A guest post by
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Very proud of you, Stephen! And congrats on your baby girl!
Yay welcome to Substack, Stephen! And congratulations on everything, especially the arrival of your baby girl! 🤍