Obsession by Boy Meets Void
Why I will no longer min/max my life like it's an RPG
At what point does a hobby become an obligation?
My entire life has been one passion project (obsession, if you will) after another. Each one has completely overtaken me for a time. Invariably, at some point along the way, the passion for the project fades and is replaced with disdain and disgust.
Why am I doing this anymore? Why was I even doing this to begin with? Is this still a fun hobby or just a joyless obligation?
I have wrestled with these questions for as long as I can remember.
Some activities that I’ve gotten swept up in over the years were better for me than others. Regardless, the good ones fell by the same wayside as the bad ones did (Unless it was something on TV, a movie, or music. That usually stuck).
There was the good:
Exercise (a billion different times)
High fiber dieting
Substack (…so far)
The bad:
Craft beers
Crypto mining
Vaping
And the ugly:
League of Legends
Marvel Snap
Pretty much any game that took my time and offered no real endpoint (Except for the Civilization franchise. Those games only bring me immense joy)
Each of these things—a distinct era of my life. Not quite interesting enough to have a worldwide concert tour based on them, but certainly worth a post to The Void.
Bonus example for you, I rediscovered my cast iron skillet after my wife and I moved into our new house. There was a month where all we did was eat steak. Every day when I got home from work I would fry up a ribeye and a New York Strip. I got pretty good at it too. That obsession probably would have lasted much longer if beef prices weren’t currently akin to gold prices. Thanks, Obama.
Almost everything that I’ve done in my life follows a distinct and tragic cycle:
Learn about something interesting
Learn waaay more about that interesting thing
Buy something I need for that something interesting
Learn too much about that interesting thing and realize my interest is futile, because I can’t do it in the most optimal way.
Continue to do that thing but with less regularity
Burn out
Ooohhh, new shiny thing!
Hobbies are great and important to sustain your soul, but this cycle would no doubt disappoint anyone’s therapist.
I always go into things with the best of intentions. A simple life improvement, a thing to keep my brain busy, a way to make money without a “real job.” Congratulations on starting your new venture! Would be a shame to have to introduce you to…the cycle!
Now that I am in my mid-thirties this has to change. I can’t continue to have so many things every year that I pick up and drop. I need to commit to a small number of things. I need to have fun with those things without them becoming all consuming. This isn’t to say I can’t stop doing things that I no longer feel joy in, or that I can’t pick up new things. Just that I can no longer allow myself to let momentary passion ruin the fun in something.
By writing this I am attempting to break the cycle. Acknowledging the problem is the first step, right? Hi, my name is Stephen, and I am a hobbyholic (that sounds like I enjoy hobbyhol, but I stand by it).
Boy Meets Void is just the most recent thing that I am perhaps taking too seriously. I’m going to try something new this time, though. In order to break the unholy cycle, I will be doing my best to fight the urge to feverishly min/max the entire experience as if I was playing the world’s saddest text-based RPG.
Like with any RPG, there are countless guides on how to best optimize your gameplay here on Substack. Should I follow them? What if that extra point in charisma was exactly what I needed to beat that next tricky mini boss?
I see other people’s strategies on here everyday: Sub for sub schemes, piggybacking on silly trends (dear substack, blah blah blah), showing off subscriber numbers when near a milestone to coax people into being the one to tip it over to some other arbitrary number. In the past, I would have followed these guides religiously.
Random thought: If Substack were an RPG and you were looking to min/max, would you just dump all points into charisma? Probably not, you would want some wisdom and intelligence as well. You would also need some strength to be able to lift your arms to type. We can skimp on stealth this playthrough.
This time I am doing my best to avoid these guides like the plague. I’ve finally realized that guides tend to suck the joy out of the experience of just playing the game. Making every decision through the lens of “what’s optimal” robs you of the joy of discovering things for yourself—of trying and failing and learning and improving. I have to imagine that the same lesson can be applied to writing.
That’s the new cycle I want to perfect. Try-Fail-Learn-Improve. Maybe we don’t aaaaalways fail, though.
Who’s to say the guide’s way is the right way to begin with? Maybe, the most optimal way is the way you discover on your own. Or maybe, just maybe, the most optimal way to play is by having fun. It is a game after all.
And this is just a blog. A blog written by someone who is coming in with no established following. A blog with no real niche. A blog with nothing to offer in terms of statistics or news reporting. One week it might be about professional wrestling and the next a personal anecdote. It’s just me attempting to get through to people who don’t listen anymore, because they’re too absorbed in their phones. Ha, tricked ya!
Maybe Boy Meets Void doesn’t have to be the next hypomanic obsession that burns out as fast as it was lit.
Maybe I can just write.
Am I alone in this? Does anyone else go through these cycles, or do you guys just pick something and stick with it? If you want to share or have any other thoughts on the matter, please leave a comment
And as always, please share this post so that it can be seen by more people!
Housekeeping Note
I have decided my posting schedule will be Tuesdays and Saturdays in the morning. Depending on the week there may be room for a bonus post. I am going to do my best to keep to this schedule, but I will post an update if this changes.
I agree with you that the obsessing isn't inherently the problem. I think I just have a separate problem with wanting to "win" things.
And, I do agree that the pressure to make money off of what you spend your time on is frustrating. I think that's largely due to people's frustrations with what a traditional "job" has become. Everyone wants to be free from the shackles of long hours and being underappreciated. Being your own boss is enticing because who can appreciate you more than yourself?
Thanks for sharing!
I was just thinking about this idea of the "cycle" the other day, and I can relate. After the Steam sales, buying and adding more games to my backlog, when I haven't even finished the ones I started. I actually got to the point where I was wondering, do I embrace being driven like the wind like this, or do I actively try and change it. Curious what you think. At what point do you try and change something or learn to live with it?