Personal Essays

Goku Is My Homeboy

Girls with tails, middle school shame, and the invention of China

Feb 28 • Stephen

When taping your mouth shut doesn't stop the brain worms from getting in

Feb 10 • Stephen

Basements Are Stupid and I'm Over Them

The world's most expensive hot shower

Jan 27 • Stephen

Extreme Makeover: Kitchen Drawer Edition

A tale of six full dumpsters and three empty junk drawers

Jan 17 • Stephen

Help! I'm Trapped In The Whimsy Vortex!

Why I might actually be a gen Z Substack girlie

Jan 13 • Stephen

Clerks: The Capstone To My Life

Wait, am I even supposed to be here today?

Jan 10 • Stephen

The Great (Friendship) Recession

Fires out, bridges burned, and bubbles bursted

Jan 6 • Stephen

Obsession by Boy Meets Void

Why I will no longer min/max my life like it's an RPG

Jan 3 • Stephen

iPod Time Machine

Today's hot take: I like music

Dec 30, 2025 • Stephen

Boy Meets Void Wrapped

A year of quitting things, treading water, and water breaking

Dec 27, 2025 • Stephen and AST Concepts & Collectibles

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